Archive for the ‘Squelch News’ Category


Issue 19-6 Now on Web!

April 26, 2010

So get your asses over to for a hit of the good stuff! Oh yeah!

Issue Title: etrayal


Hmm, that’s a pretty good joke, New Yorker!

April 3, 2010

Many of you out there probably remembers the scandal that rocked the webcomic world when it was revealed that the venerable institution of the medium, Penny Arcade, had shockingly copied one of our jokes. Oh, there was weeping and wailing and the gnashing of teeth. But now it is my sad duty to inform you all that plagiarism has reared its ugly head yet again, in the form of a magazine that was published last year. Behold!

Exhibit A: The November 2008 issue of the Heuristic Squelch, featuring a lovely drawn cover depicting Lemuel Gulliver in his classic “tied down by Lilliputians” pose, discovering to his consternation that the little folk seem to be S&M enthusiasts.

Damn, that's some good comedy magazine coverin' right there.

Hi-larious, am I right? Yes, yes I am right. Fast forward to now, then rewind again back to August of 2009, when The New Yorker, evidently some sort of non-college-humor magazine, displayed this amusing image in its Caption Contest section, appealing to its readers for an appropriately droll caption:


BUM BUM BUM! Oh, they thought us mad when we put a picture of a butt farting on the Snooty New Yorker Guy on our back cover! They said we were just being self-deprecatingly juvenile! But look at it now! Seems pretty prescient, hmm? Clearly, The New Yorker intentionally ripped off our poor, defenseless magazine, thinking that just because we’re a college humor publication on the other side of the country where most New Yorker writers would never see it, we wouldn’t notice this egregious act of joke-stealery! But just you wait, New Yorker! HEADS WILL ROLL!


Issue 19-5 Now On Internet!

March 15, 2010

Yeah, you heard me right. For those poor souls who failed to procure a genuine copy of our latest comedy masterpiece, get your poor souls over to to bathe in the electronic goodness. Get to it!

The French Fry Revolution


The Sincerest Form of Flattery

March 12, 2010

Deputy Creative Editor Erik Krasner-Karpen spotted this little gem in the FSM bathroom:

It's good to be loved.

Good try, anonymous Squelch copycat. You might not have nailed the drawing, or the spelling, but we appreciate the thought.


Issue 19-4 Is Go!

February 1, 2010

Hey, if you failed to pick up a copy of our grandiloquent new issue last week, there’s good news and bad news. The bad news: we hate you. Why would you forsake us like that? The good news is, you can still read it, either by coming to our meetings and begging for a copy, or by reading a pdf on this here website. Get to it!



Little Bit Of Site News, 1/22/09

January 22, 2010

Hey, everyone, this is David of your Heuristic Squelch.  I am more or less the worst blogger in the internet, in that I more or less no longer blog.  However, I also graduated, making me technically no longer a member of the Heuristic Squelch in any non-honorary capacity.  This means several things: first, it means that our wonderfully talented Brett Hallahan has taken the Squelch helm, and second, it means that I am now looking for a job.

As a result of this last bit of information, I now realize that a handful of posts on this infernal thing are probably not going to do me any favors on the market, so I’ve decided to pull the majority of these posts from public view.  I’m comfortable with this decision, as they were honestly the weakest written entries on this entire blog, and were often that level of offensive without the necessary funniness that justifies their existence (Sorry, furries!  No, for real, I did a research project on furries and I now legit feel bad.  Except for babyfurs, y’all are weird.  Also confurvatives).

Anyway, I’m now also going to attempt to post on here much more frequently, as my lack of school and work for the time being ought to permit to do so.  So you have that to look forward to.

Also, Issue 19-3 came out a long-ass time ago, but we forgot to mention it.  So there it is.


Meetings start this Wednesday!

January 18, 2010

Can you feel the dread in the air? The ineffable tremble that passes from person to person like the Spanish influenza? Yes, the spring semester has started, and with it Squelch meetings. Our room has moved from the forbidding basement of Dwinelle to the merely intimidating second floor of Dwinelle, specifically room 262. As always, meetings are on Wednesdays from 7 to 8 pm. Be there or be mashed into a delicious patty!