Weeaboo Wednesday: the Haruhi Dance!!!

November 11, 2009


I know it’s been literally an entire semester since I’ve posted a Weeaboo Wednesday, but look, I actually don’t know that much about Japan. I guess I could have kept reviewing weird hentai that I “accidentally” came upon, but I am pretty tired of getting hits from search terms like “world of warcraft tentacle” and “kkids fucking”.



The Haruhi dance is the dance performed by the cast of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya in the above clip, which apparently comes with the end credits to episodes. Youtube is trying to tell me that there is a season 2, but I refuse to believe it, mostly because the thought of watching a shrill, unlovable, authoritarian teenage girl prance around and sexually abuse less shrill, less unlovable teenage girls any more than I already have is unappetizing, to say the least.

and this is one of the better animes out there

feminism died a merciful death, a long, long time ago

Other than the inverse/reverse/anti-bro-rape (sis-rape?) and the ESPers and the time travelers and the alien robots going pew pew pew with their lasers and the bizarre order in which episodes were originally broadcastThe Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya is actually an incredibly boring exemplar of the “slice of life”/”school life” genre. For those who do not begin the morning by refreshing the “Recent Updates” page on onemanga.com, any manga or anime falling into this category pretty much always begins with some sort of a classroom scene depicting daily life at school, then goes on to show how two or three or several students become friend, and then moves on to club activities and so on, and climaxes with a very exciting school festival. Haruhi is no different, except there are fewer transvestites, homosexuals, secret homosexuals, secret transvestites, and talking animals, and instead focuses on the domineering personality of the title character, and how she might be God.

Oh, sorry. Spoiler alert.

Shhh. No words.

Sqlog writer Kyle Smith, cosplaying as God

I suppose the series is admirable in a way, especially since the broadcast order (known as the Kyon order), as well as the DVD order, begins with the episode “The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00”. This episode is comprised chiefly of a film that the SOS Brigade club (Haruhi and her friends) create for the school festival. Every aspect of it is terrible, from the acting to the script to the “production quality”. The plot is one of a
“magical girls” shoujo, where a(n) (attractive, female) time traveler is sent to protect some dude and also fight against this (attractive, female) alien witch character and then everyone ends up pretending to be normal human teenagers and going to the high school of said dude, etc. Also, the dude has ESP.

So the anime begins by lambasting a particular genre of anime, and then ends up mimicking it to some extent. The girl who plays the time traveler character in the festival film is, actually, a time traveler. The girl playing the alien witch character is actually an alien robot, and the boy playing the guy with ESP is indeed an ESPer. The film’s narrator, Kyon, will the narrator for the rest of the series, and the director, Haruhi, turns out to be God.

Oops, spoiler alert.

OK, so Haruhi does merit some acknowledgement on an artistic level, but for fuck’s sake, it’s so shrill.

The one thing that the show has offer that is beyond reproach is this ultrafuckingcute dance!

Here it is, being done by some pop stars or some such while lots of Japanese people kyaaaaaa~

Here it is, in a Haruhi themed dance game on the Wii I am not fucking kidding!

Here it is, being danced by prison inmates in the Philippines!

Welp, that’s all! See you in another semester or two!



  1. Of course the second season exists. The first episode of the second season is by far my favorite episode..

  2. I’m pretty sure those “pop stars or something” are the original voice actors on the show. Because in Japan, *voice actors* are expected to look like models and perform fully choreographed arena shows. Unions aren’t very strong over there.

  3. And do thirty-second costume changes. Jesus. Meanwhile there are like thirty people in America who even know who Mel Blanc is.

  4. I know who Mel Blanc is! She used to be a Spice Girl, right?

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