IRL News – 8/8/09

August 8, 2009


Oh, hey, what’s going on with that whole healthcare reform bill I’ve been hearing so much about?  Maybe we’ll finally get some good news for that darned thing!

  • Those wacky fucking town hall disruptors are apparently still at it, and are being encouraged to bring guns now, so basically people are going to get shot over the idea that the government might expand its role in providing healthcare to its own residents.  Wow!
  • You see, these protests where people literally just shout down everything that’s going on, and at which now people are apparently comfortable enough to arm themselves heavily, are the exact same thing as the ineffectual protesting of the Iraq War that happened six years ago that no one talked about.  I guess when liberals feebly chant “no war please” instead of rioting profusely, it’s “patriotic”, but when people end up dead by the hand of some Wilford Brimley motherfucker mumbling about birth certificates, it’s somehow “extremist.”  Make up your mind, you liberal fascist hypocrites!
  • If we do not act now, popular government programs Medicare and Medicaid will be NATIONALIZED!  What next?  Social security?!?!?!?
  • Perhaps I have it all wrong, maybe these protesters realize the flaws of the bill:  its total inadequacy as far as actually doing shit, its status as a love letter to the health insurance industry rather than the stake through its heart that it should be, and the legislative tokenness it will bring about that will give lawmakers an excuse to not further reform and, in passing, halt progress toward national healthcare even moreso than by not passing.  Oh, wait, no, they’re protesting because they think that “Obamacare” is actually a Nazi final solution to kill off the infirm and retarded. Where would they possibly get that idea?
  • Oh. I guess Sarah Palin is legitimately concerned that Obama is going to euthanize her child.  That’s awesome, that a grown woman, one who was given responsibility over one of our United States (not a great state, but one none the less), thinks that buried within this fucking weak-ass healthcare bill is a provision that allows the government to kill infants.  Oh, also she was almost vice president to a man who is perpetually about to die.

Great job, country!  What’s that?  Poison?  Yes please I will eat that right now, thank you for actively attempting to destroy yourself and finally giving me sufficient reason to just go ahead and eat poison and vomit all over you until I die.


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