IRL News: 7/6/09

July 6, 2009


Sarah continues to be on her “vacation” in “Tahoe,” where she is most certainly not “presiding over a human trafficking operation,” so I will fill in for her by screaming the news at you in short, angry bullet points, as is tradition:

  • UC Berkeley Alum and Less-Of-A-Bloodthirsty-Monster-Than-You-Thought former Defense Secretary Robert MacNamara dies at 93.  We can all point the finger as to who more-or-less fabricated the American media’s understanding of the Gulf of Tonkin incident, or who totally misunderstood the nature of fighting an entrenched native insurgency, but the fact of the matter is that MacNamara spent the better part of the rest of his life trying his damnedest to rid the world of the mistakes he made.  I doubt we’ll ever see Rumsfeld in the same position.
  • Of all the speculation as to why Sarah Palin decided to incoherently resign from her exalted position of Lich Queen of Methrend, none of us really hit on what may now be the real reason:  She is tired of being governor of Alaska because she doesn’t get to campaign for anything.  Like some sort of huge, beehived child, Sarah Palin is too impatient for elections to come around in one year, and since that VP thing didn’t turn out, she is taking her ball and going home.  Of course, to Kristol, this only means that the sky’s the limit for ol’ Barrapayforyourownrapekitscuda!
  • The Triumph of the Information Age will truly be in the fact that the narcissistic display of everyone’s personal thoughts and feelings on their vanity websites will eventually reveal just how terrible everyone is deep inside.  The Internet has become a great big mirror that reveals our true, drunk, racist asshole selves.



  1. I watched the Fog of War in a theater shortly after it came out. I should have known I was going to be a history major.

  2. […] Sqlog The Heuristic Squelch Blog « IRL News: 7/6/09 Internet in Brief / IRL News: 7/07/09 July 7, […]

  3. I applaud you guys for keeping this blog going and making it more diverse than Newsflash-format stuff that feels redundant with The Onion; but in the spirit of constructive criticism I want to express my view that the blog of a comedy magazine ought to contain comedy and jokes and that sort of thing. There is some snark here, but every blog has snark, and the snark here is vague and drowning in overthought self-awareness and apologies for oversimplifying. What is the point of linking to news stories if there are no jokes on them, just sober, thoughtful commentary? Sober thoughtful commentary in satirical form, please!

  4. 1) We’re still trying shit out with this whole “blogging” thing and figuring out what the role of the Sqlog is going to be. Expect more Squelch-type pieces when the Squelch gets rolling again and it’s more than three people contributing material.
    2) We’re lazy.

  5. Fair enough. It’s not really my place anyway, you’re in the prime of life running the magazine and I’m years away from it. Nice Jackson piece, though, that’s the kind of thing I was looking for.

    Also, the porn and weeaboo stuff could stand to be more pointed in terms of rants/jokes, less long-winded in general, and less “look at this weird shit it’s so weird you can see that it’s funny so I won’t bother making it funny.”

    Still, keep it up. I’m enjoying the blog in spite of all this stuff I’m throwing at it. Liked the E3 post too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: